Am I Doing Enough? / Socialization? Fears and Concerns Series (Part 3)

*The fear of failing or of not doing enough is a very common fear or concern, mostly for the moms who incorrectly assume the children’s failures will be a result of their own.

Every person who starts home educating for the first time is already concerned about not doing enough. Often, while the children have not yet even started formal education, parents can already be expressing concerns about post-secondary options! This is okay. It is good to have a plan.

However, I find this concern funny because if parents have seen what I have seen, they would know that even if they were sleeping half the time, the children would still be well educated, in fact, usually way ahead of their peers. Your fear is not really about doing enough, it is about not doing enough school. There is a big difference between these two approaches.

Trust me. The less “schooling” you do, the more personalized your children’s education is. This eventually translates into a genuine post-secondary readiness, one that fits them well; one that does not require attending post-secondary institutions so they can discover themselves.

If you’ve just started, take one day at a time, then one year at a time. Once you’re past the primary stage, you will enter an easier period because you will get comfortable with the process.

As the children transition from the primary to the secondary stage they become more independent learners. I usually use independent learning as an indicator of how advanced students are at the secondary stage of formal education.

*You’ve likely heard the concern about the socialization of home educated children. I have even heard that children need to learn how to get along with children! This would be a joke if it wasn’t so sad! We are created as social beings. Children naturally get along with children. The only training needed for socialization is exercising proper manners.

Besides, what do you think is more important? Learning to get along with children of the same age or getting real life experience at getting along with people of all ages? Where will children spend their lives? As children or adults? Think about this.

When was the last time you were in a room filled with people of the same age doing the same thing at the same time? School! You can simply dismiss this fear or concern as disconnected from reality!

Now, should you be confronted with this concern, there may be many possible ways to address it, but the best way to deflect this silly question is to ask the inquirer what their concerns might be regarding the socializing issue.

If they have an answer, ask them to clarify. You will find that those who are most concerned about this issue are those less likely to be able to share a good reason for the concern.

Allowing and encouraging children to be comfortable with who they are is one of the biggest advantages of home educating outside of the status quo expectations of society.

There is no better way to prepare them for the “socialization” requirements of the adult world. They will be less likely to have to keep up with the “Joneses” and be affected by peer pressure. However, one must bear in mind that peer pressure is a very powerful influence that requires serious preparation to resist.

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